Journal Entry
I ask my clients to get very vulnerable and personal with me, so it’s only right I do the same with you guys. So below is an entry ripped right out of my journal so you can get to know me better.
If today was my last day on this Earth I’d spend it reaching for God and the endless Peace and Love that blankets and uplifts me. So I did.
To reach for me is to settle into the depths of my being and feel everything buried within. To remove myself from the world and touch the kaleidoscope of my being. In my churning today I pondered this and brought it before the altar of God to lighten my heart as I surrendered into the deep night.
It is challenging for man to discover he has no purpose other than to be just who he is, for in his natural state he is in harmony with nature, a naturally integrated part of the ecosystem which works for the greatest good of all. For man's greatest quest has been to answer that very question, who am I? And what if the simplicity of that answer was so great, it evaded him his whole life?
“Suppose a warrior, forgetting that he was already wearing his pearl on his forehead, where to seek for it elsewhere, he could travel the whole world without finding it.” - Huang Po
A person with no clear purpose will not know his center and be easily swayed by the suggestions and allurements of life. Tossed hither and thither she’ll be lost in an all consuming sea, falling into a hypnotic trance of the suggested thought forms of others.
“You’re a failure”
“You’re a great speaker”
“you’re a rebel rouser”
“Keep your voice soft and tender”
“Be frank and direct”
“The most important thing is getting married”
“The most important thing is career”
“The most important thing is money in the bank”
“The most important thing is to do what others say.”
and others say all these things…
We’ve developed ourselves through what others have suggested to us, most dominantly and influentially being our parents and immediate families, our teachers and childhood friends and of course society. Through these suggestions we have formed concepts of ourselves which are not accurate.
To set a goal, is to grab a hold of a vision. This vision provides centers of organizations that allow us to exert some control over the various suggestions poised to us. A sense of purpose allows one to pass by temptations that don’t fulfill one’s goal and stay focused on the narrow path. Unfortunately many of the goals we choose are founded on the suggestions we’ve adapted from our childhood, and are often quite fanciful, misguided self-concepts. This leads to a temporary progress, a delineation of suggestions that one soon becomes disillusioned with, lets go of and turns to a new center, a new goal.
In not knowing who one truly is and therefore basing his purpose on misguided concepts she is apt to throw herself into attractive projects and others suggestions, but after a while will become tired, give it up and flit about seeking one pleasure then another. We find a new belief, a new pleasure, a new cause, a new center in which we can temporarily build our identity. Each time wandering from the course of our soul, or true purpose, becoming involved in real-life drama that consumes us, even potentially devouring us whole. Eventually one discovers that the goals established have been illusory.
I wrote this out of a deep knowing that I lose myself in the suggestions of others, because I haven’t fully founded myself in my purpose, a purpose so simple, so gracious. Rather I have let fear corrupt me and guide me into unfulfilling, empty experiences. So If I were to know this day was my last I would want to share this, knowing that in doing so I’d be facing that fear, I’d be releasing it. I’d be living my purpose of being who I am, just as I am. Allowing my highest potential of the moment to be given to life as the gift I am.
Today I am grateful for the love that surrounds me, today I am grateful for the union in my soul.
I am grateful for discovering a stronger, longer lasting purpose that will allow me to not be swayed by the delusions of life, but roar in the fires of transformation, as my path is quickened through an unwavering aim within. Allowing me to walk narrowly through an endlessly opened embrace.
